Jack Kerouac's Introspective Notes
"In an effort to discover the hidden laws of elation & depression while writing"
There he is: A cigarette in his hand, a notebook in his pocket. Jack Kerouac looks off into the distance, his mind, one assumes, swimming with thoughts.
Whatever he was thinking, Kerouac likely transferred it to one of his many notebooks. They remain a testament to his creative mix of discipline and rebellion. Kerouac wrote doggedly, but loosely. He set out to be a great writer, but he would do it his way. As a teenager enrolled at Columbia University,1 he wrote,
If ever the day comes that someone asks me to what I attribute my success as a famous & great writer, I shall tell him it is because, in my teens, I never wrote one single ode to anything.
JK2
Kerouac’s most celebrated work, On the Road, is an ode of sorts to the American spirit as Kerouac experienced it in the late 1940s as he hitchhiked across the country during his 20s.
While at Columbia, Kerouac met Alan Ginsburg and then William Burroughs. The three would come to call themselves “the Beats,” and they electrified the literary scene of New York and San Francisco, setting off a current of creative experimentation that still empowers many of us today. And Kerouac kept notes through it all.
Kerouac’s notebooks are deeply satisfying. I love the way he gives himself over to them, pouring his interior monologue onto the pages. Kerouac’s notes grant us a front seat to the great writer’s brilliant creativity, his love of language, but also his self-loathing and sadness. The notebooks trace Kerouac’s becoming and disintegration—sometimes on a single page.
Kerouac’s Journals
Let’s begin in November of 1940, when Kerouac was a Freshman at Columbia. It is 2am at a diner near Columbia University’s campus. He sits alone, with a small notebook in front of him.
On the first page, Kerouac writes,
Sunday Morn, Nov. 3
2:00 A.M.
1940
Place: West End Cafeteria
Broadway N.Y. City
(On Columbia U. Campus)
I am seated alone at a table as I write in this book. Perhaps these young people in front of me think that I am doing my homework, or even that I am crazy.
Neither.
I am going to say a few things, after having spent the last
sevensix hours thinking as hard as I could. (And as rationally.)
In this little notebook, he sets out to record his ideas, accompanied by reflections on Kant, Joyce, and Romanticism. As Douglas Brinkley writes, these early notes
…reveal an earnest artist trying to discover his authentic voice…3
Here, Kerouac declares his love for Thomas Wolfe’s writing, declaring him “my God.”
He also sets himself a required reading list that includes texts he has already read but wants to revisit.
Raised in a devout Catholic family, Kerouac spends a lot of time contemplating Jesus (as he does on the above right-hand page). He draws crosses on many pages, and much of his writing borders on the confessional.
“A Study in Disorganization: The Problem of Myself”
In 1944 Kerouac still had his sights set on literary fame, but first he had to untangle the problem of himself, which he considered the biggest problem for his art.
…I earnestly consider one of the main problems in my art and understanding, and perhaps the most fundamental in the light of creative development of the individual artist, the problem of one’s self, and in this case, the problem of myself. What am I?…how do I behave?…why do I behave as such?…and how does it affect my art and understanding? what do I want?
A year later, Kerouac would write a note on the inside cover, describing the notebook as
a symbol of “becoming”—
Months after Kerouac concluded his reflections on “The Problem of Myself” he adds a diary entry while traveling by train to Canada, inspired by Ginsberg’s suggestion that he “re-examine” himself to find his “true self”. But, while writing, Kerouac decides that he prefers his multifaceted artistic self because it doesn’t cling to a single identity.
Ginsberg recently suggested that I carefully re-examine myself in order to find my true self. I dread that…I have a thousand identities; if after examining my self in the disgustingly single minded way of self-analysis (as witness the foregoing pages) if, after that, I should happen to stumble upon a combination of patterns suitable to round out a recognizable “me,” then where would be my thousand-fold “artist” self? I find my pleasure is not being a single person…
Kerouac’s Mood-Log
Relatedly, Kerouac set out to track his moods over the course of a writing project in March 1947. He explains his rational:
In an effort to discover the hidden laws of elation & depression while writing.
Here, he records his feelings while writing. They range from
Perfect assurance and spiritual poise; all things fell in place
to
A “whats-the-use” day.
Three months later, Kerouac declares the project done.
WORK COMPLETED!
Now to life!—until July when I begin again—but Now—to life!
Perhaps you’ve also noticed how many daily words Kerouac wrote. 1,000-2,500 words a day was typical for him. But before you feel too badly about your output, consider that Kerouac’s signature writing technique was spontaneous prose—a high speed method, unencumbered by self-editing.
Kerouac’s “Writing Logs” and “Private Philologies”
The “Mood Logs” are intertwined with Kerouac’s “Writing Logs”—here is one he kept while writing what would become On the Road. On a day in which he writes 1500 words, he muses:
I sometimes wonder if On the Road will be any good, although very likely it will be popular.
I particularly appreciated this page from the log, which includes a stain on the bottom left corner from
cooking in the yard
The “Private Philologies” section of this notebook includes descriptions of words that interested Kerouac. For example:
The Scythian name for earth which is “apia,” meaning WATERY OR WATER-ISSUED) or first ISLE, their LAND), is a name of great significance to me and undoubtedly explains a universal feeling concerning water.
In this week’s postscript, I’ll spend more time delving into Kerouac’s notes taken on the road for On the Road, but for now, I’ll leave you with the following interview Kerouac did in 1959. At the end, he reads from On the Road, and it made me wish we had a full recording of him reading his book—I found his sense of rhythm intoxicating.
In the video, Kerouac claims he wrote On the Road in 3 weeks. He probably typed it that quickly. Of course, we know from looking at Kerouac’s journals he had been working on his novel for nearly a decade. More on this later this week!
Notes on Kerouac’s Notes
Self-exploration is a cornerstone of creativity: as Kerouac writes in “The Problem of Myself,” exploring oneself fuels creativity. Influenced by Jung and Freud, Kerouac studied the workings of his mind and his own paradoxical identity in the service of his art.
Keep a mood log: Creative projects can be an emotional rollercoaster. I noticed a pattern in Kerouac’s mood-log that I seem to have myself: great writing days are often followed by not-so-great writing days, as though the mind needs to rest.
Mark your location in your notebooks: I love Kerouac’s attention to geography and place. Whether he’s marking a state (Colorado) or a cafeteria (West End Cafeteria) the location of his writing mattered to him. It adds another layer of physicality to our notes—especially when food (or coffee in my case) stains our pages.
Noted is fueled by you. Your ❤️’s and comments inspire me. As always, I would love to know your thoughts.
Yours in Note-Taking,
P.S. Paid subscribers, look out for more of Kerouac’s notes from the road later this week!
Kerouac attended Columbia on a football scholarship, but he broke his leg early in the first season and couldn’t play. He dropped out of college in 1942.
I wonder if Kerouac was thinking of John Keats when he wrote this—having just transcribed a section of Keats’s “Ode on a Grecian Urn.” I also suspect that Kerouac recognized their shared initials.
Brinkley, Douglas. “Introduction” to Windblown World: The Journals of Jack Kerouac 1947-1954. Penguin, 2006, p. xiv.
Loved that video you shared. Does he say God is Pooh Bear at 6:01?
I love your posts! As an avid book worm, notebook aficionado, and pen snob, this is like candy for my soul.