I think the connection between being hard on oneself and ambition is correlation, not causation. We see the connection because nearly everyone is hard on themselves. But I’m finding that being easy on myself makes it easier to come back to writing day after day, or to apologize when I’ve been an ass. I don’t think shame helps anyone, it’s just so common in the human experience that we think it does.
Also, I love your deep dives into a single person’s notebooks, but I think I like these connective collages even more.
Yes, I think you're probably right about correlation vs. causation. And I've also found that being gentle with myself helps--but it's a fine balance. It kind of seems like good parenting: gentleness within structures. And yes, we always need less shame!
The very word "resolution" makes me feel the gloom of promising to lose weight, exercise more, eat better and other multiple punishments! I do choose an intention as a guide for matching my goals with direction. I have long left behind the restrictions that may block surprises in the coming years. I l ook forward always to your posts.
You're right to point out all that cultural baggage around resolutions. I love the idea of an intention though. That feels much more motivating! This year I chose a word for myself (a way of setting an intention). That word is "slowly."
The Virginia Wolff entry reads : "not to goad [myself] to parties." She highlights that when we make resolutions we divide our selves into two people: the giver and the receiver of the resolution.
Hi David! My edition reads "not goading it"--are you saying it's incorrect? I love your interpretation of the line though. Fascinating to think about the division of self that resolutions require.
I read this just after watching an episode of the renewed X-Files, and I can’t help but notice how funny it is that so many people feel the only thing missing in their life is writing or praying. In the episode, a monster who has just recently turned human delivers a hilarious monologue about how he fears quitting a job (even though he doesn’t even understand what a job is) and laments that, if he didn't write a novel yet, he’ll never write it. I laughed so hard at that... May we all enjoy many more years failing at our ambitions. Amen. 🥂
love this reframing of failure as evidence of ambition rather than a lack of discipline. It makes resolutions feel less like contracts we break and more like compasses that keep pointing us forward. “Keep failing” feels oddly comforting and motivating.
Thank you for including Virginia Woolf's bit in the end. When I read the works of these literary greats the trauma and pain is sometimes too hard to bear. Like you rightly said, taking away that pain would cruelly have reduced them to peaceful, well-adjusted humans - oh, the horror. It is an unbelievably thin line of separation, healing the hell within while being able to preserve one's artistic capacity. Perhaps someday, I shall solve it or at least have enough gumption to accept the paradox and dance with it even while it constantly steps on my toes. For now, I agree with Woolf. I shall offer myself some kindness. 😄 Happy new year to you and to all Noted folks!
Have you ever read John Steinbeck’s ‘Journal of a Novel’ about his ‘East of Eden’ letters. Oh they are really interesting. He wrote another journal for ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ too.
I don't do annual resolutions, but I have general aspirational goals for how much time spent every day writing or making music or exercising. I have a spreadsheet (titled Goals) on which I track these daily (sort of a computerized version of Caro's calendar). I'm never too hard on myself when I fail to hit my targets - life intrudes, as it does, and I don't have time to waste on unearned guilt. But every day the aspirations help to give a shape to my day and to urge me on.
Thanks so much for this piece. (“ Scheme Life” - love it! ) I dropped resolutions because I struggled to achieve the long list each year. Maybe I should make some this year :).
Wonderful historical summary of some of my favorite writers. As for me, I've learned, make only one resolution each year. Finish what you started last year and don't delay!
I think the connection between being hard on oneself and ambition is correlation, not causation. We see the connection because nearly everyone is hard on themselves. But I’m finding that being easy on myself makes it easier to come back to writing day after day, or to apologize when I’ve been an ass. I don’t think shame helps anyone, it’s just so common in the human experience that we think it does.
Also, I love your deep dives into a single person’s notebooks, but I think I like these connective collages even more.
Yes, I think you're probably right about correlation vs. causation. And I've also found that being gentle with myself helps--but it's a fine balance. It kind of seems like good parenting: gentleness within structures. And yes, we always need less shame!
The very word "resolution" makes me feel the gloom of promising to lose weight, exercise more, eat better and other multiple punishments! I do choose an intention as a guide for matching my goals with direction. I have long left behind the restrictions that may block surprises in the coming years. I l ook forward always to your posts.
You're right to point out all that cultural baggage around resolutions. I love the idea of an intention though. That feels much more motivating! This year I chose a word for myself (a way of setting an intention). That word is "slowly."
The Virginia Wolff entry reads : "not to goad [myself] to parties." She highlights that when we make resolutions we divide our selves into two people: the giver and the receiver of the resolution.
Hi David! My edition reads "not goading it"--are you saying it's incorrect? I love your interpretation of the line though. Fascinating to think about the division of self that resolutions require.
My transcription error!
I read this just after watching an episode of the renewed X-Files, and I can’t help but notice how funny it is that so many people feel the only thing missing in their life is writing or praying. In the episode, a monster who has just recently turned human delivers a hilarious monologue about how he fears quitting a job (even though he doesn’t even understand what a job is) and laments that, if he didn't write a novel yet, he’ll never write it. I laughed so hard at that... May we all enjoy many more years failing at our ambitions. Amen. 🥂
I literally laughed out loud at your comment. Keep failing 🥂
Love this Jillian! Shows there’s hope for the rest of us! 🥳
Haha! There's hope!
It's a Gem! Thank you.
Thanks, Ashok!
love this reframing of failure as evidence of ambition rather than a lack of discipline. It makes resolutions feel less like contracts we break and more like compasses that keep pointing us forward. “Keep failing” feels oddly comforting and motivating.
Thank you for including Virginia Woolf's bit in the end. When I read the works of these literary greats the trauma and pain is sometimes too hard to bear. Like you rightly said, taking away that pain would cruelly have reduced them to peaceful, well-adjusted humans - oh, the horror. It is an unbelievably thin line of separation, healing the hell within while being able to preserve one's artistic capacity. Perhaps someday, I shall solve it or at least have enough gumption to accept the paradox and dance with it even while it constantly steps on my toes. For now, I agree with Woolf. I shall offer myself some kindness. 😄 Happy new year to you and to all Noted folks!
Have you ever read John Steinbeck’s ‘Journal of a Novel’ about his ‘East of Eden’ letters. Oh they are really interesting. He wrote another journal for ‘The Grapes of Wrath’ too.
I have! And I love them!
I still cant believe you went to see Octavia Butler’s archive and you didn’t wait for me.
If I recall correctly, I sent you lots of photos :)
😂
Thanks this is the 1st year where in a life lacking in ambition I feel I have some very productive resolutions to consider . I am 72 years old.
I don't do annual resolutions, but I have general aspirational goals for how much time spent every day writing or making music or exercising. I have a spreadsheet (titled Goals) on which I track these daily (sort of a computerized version of Caro's calendar). I'm never too hard on myself when I fail to hit my targets - life intrudes, as it does, and I don't have time to waste on unearned guilt. But every day the aspirations help to give a shape to my day and to urge me on.
Thanks so much for this piece. (“ Scheme Life” - love it! ) I dropped resolutions because I struggled to achieve the long list each year. Maybe I should make some this year :).
Wonderful historical summary of some of my favorite writers. As for me, I've learned, make only one resolution each year. Finish what you started last year and don't delay!
Love all of these! Everyone is so hard on themselves yet in retrospect they’ve achieved more than they could have imagined.
This is a really great read, Jillian. I wrote something resolution adjacent that I would love you to check out.
https://thecaseforpodcast.substack.com/p/the-case-for-starting-again-on-a