Jillian, there is such devastation on these pages.
This post was a difficult read - extraordinarily I've just noticed that I had instinctively pushed my seat away from my desk while I was reading, further from my screen as normal, which I think is testament to my discomfort.
Normally with anything notebooky I'm all about the process: the nuts and bolts, the insights of the writer of the notes into how the notes came into being and what might later become of the hopes and ideas that had been written down, but in this case none of that even crossed my mind.
Gosh. "It is no wonder that Marilyn suffered from depression, drug addiction, and crippling insecurity throughout her abbreviated life."
I've learned a great deal today, Jillian. Thank you.
It’s a beautifully harrowing example of just how we don’t really know someone unless they give you a window in - and even then, it’s ever-changing. How many folks thought her vapid or singularly focused on sexuality, when those were instead masks she adopted to cope with some significant early trauma and the emotion that simmers beneath it?
The dream where she is cut open and nothing is there, her fear that she’s a disappointment to everyone, what a heartbreak. When the reality was that there was so much there, this complex, talented woman who tried so hard to help herself get out from under all the trauma. Sixty years after her death, and she still fascinates and captivates.
Very interesting, though painful to read. I have to say I have mixed feelings about reading people's private thoughts, especially in this sort of matter. That didn't prevent my reading this post, but I don't feel entirely comfortable with it.
Great essay, Jillian. I'm going to have to read some biographies about Marilyn now. As Rebecca pointed out that Marilyn's perception of her life is quite devastating. Revealing as well...
So fitting for post-Oscars! I noticed last night that the actress from “Blonde” was nominated. I haven’t watched the film but hear it’s controversial (anything about Monroe seems to be!). Monroe’s story is endlessly fascinating - so nuanced, and still such a mystery.
Jillian -- yet another example of the range in subject matter your trips through notebooks take us. Since the Oscars just came and went, there are all sorts of evaluations related to nominated films and actors. I heard this on the radio recently amidst errands. It generally settled on how ridiculous and flippant movies about Marilyn Monroe have been and how one-dimensional. The interview was good and your research reinforces the premise of how superficial her treatment has been. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1161629864
Thank you Jillian, I truly meant no disrespect regarding you well written article. Appreciate your kind response and consideration. She represents so many from that world and many worlds we know of through observation, letters and heresay...a world that promotes beauty and weatlh whose undersides are usually quite depraved. She demonstrates this ugliness happens in ALL walks of life too...we who have not had to experience such cruelty and depravity are truly the fortunate ones...
During my studies at college, Freud although revered at that time, did not seem like a friend to women....
Thank you for taking the time to connect, and share your thoughts with the ether, not an easy thing to do!
Ah, I have to agree with the other comments. This left me feeling sad. I like to think that everyone can recover from a difficult past if they get help, but truly not everyone does.
Her handwriting is very interesting to me. For the most part it looks a lot messier than I would have expected from an era where handwriting was central to education. I guess it helps illuminate some of her state of mind or feelings as she writes... thank you for sharing.
This is fascinating, I didn’t know about her fragments book, but I’d seen a few snaps of the pages before. I’m going to get myself a copy. Thanks, Jillian.
I was very struck by Monroe's handwriting. The first few examples look an awful lot like Octavia Butler's! Then the page that she wrote for Dr. Marianne Kris I can hardly believe is hers. In fact, surely the doctor must have written it? It's completely different handwriting... call me crazy.
Fascinating! I started reading a biography on MM a year or so ago was never finished it. But yes: A very tragic and intriguing life. Escaped into reading. Very misunderstood. I love her free association notes. I love journaling like that with no overt agenda. Really helpful. Good ole Freud.
Oh my goodness, what a gentle, tender, beautiful soul. From a young age, I was drawn to Marilyn Monroe--I suppose for her beauty and spunk and intelligence. As an adult I find myself full of admiration for her deep commitment to herself and others, as well as deep sorrow. We did not do right by her. At all. And she tried so hard to do right by us! Oh, my heart.
I wasn't aware that her journals were public. Was this with her blessings?
Jillian, there is such devastation on these pages.
This post was a difficult read - extraordinarily I've just noticed that I had instinctively pushed my seat away from my desk while I was reading, further from my screen as normal, which I think is testament to my discomfort.
Normally with anything notebooky I'm all about the process: the nuts and bolts, the insights of the writer of the notes into how the notes came into being and what might later become of the hopes and ideas that had been written down, but in this case none of that even crossed my mind.
Gosh. "It is no wonder that Marilyn suffered from depression, drug addiction, and crippling insecurity throughout her abbreviated life."
I've learned a great deal today, Jillian. Thank you.
It’s a beautifully harrowing example of just how we don’t really know someone unless they give you a window in - and even then, it’s ever-changing. How many folks thought her vapid or singularly focused on sexuality, when those were instead masks she adopted to cope with some significant early trauma and the emotion that simmers beneath it?
The dream where she is cut open and nothing is there, her fear that she’s a disappointment to everyone, what a heartbreak. When the reality was that there was so much there, this complex, talented woman who tried so hard to help herself get out from under all the trauma. Sixty years after her death, and she still fascinates and captivates.
Very interesting, though painful to read. I have to say I have mixed feelings about reading people's private thoughts, especially in this sort of matter. That didn't prevent my reading this post, but I don't feel entirely comfortable with it.
Sad, these are the writings of a person slowly falling into serious DRUG ADDICTION provided her BY HER EMPLOYERS...
Also: Judy Garland, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis...
Identifying but a a few biological women who did and did not survive the trolling of vitamin” injections and the like.
If you research any of these women’s backgrounds...
Most started very young... 13-14 sexual abuse seems a primary antecedent...
These “writings” seem an invasion of poor Marilyn’s privacy... as she was very unstable at that time.
A point the writer leaves at question.
Great essay, Jillian. I'm going to have to read some biographies about Marilyn now. As Rebecca pointed out that Marilyn's perception of her life is quite devastating. Revealing as well...
So fitting for post-Oscars! I noticed last night that the actress from “Blonde” was nominated. I haven’t watched the film but hear it’s controversial (anything about Monroe seems to be!). Monroe’s story is endlessly fascinating - so nuanced, and still such a mystery.
Jillian -- yet another example of the range in subject matter your trips through notebooks take us. Since the Oscars just came and went, there are all sorts of evaluations related to nominated films and actors. I heard this on the radio recently amidst errands. It generally settled on how ridiculous and flippant movies about Marilyn Monroe have been and how one-dimensional. The interview was good and your research reinforces the premise of how superficial her treatment has been. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1161629864
Thank you Jillian, I truly meant no disrespect regarding you well written article. Appreciate your kind response and consideration. She represents so many from that world and many worlds we know of through observation, letters and heresay...a world that promotes beauty and weatlh whose undersides are usually quite depraved. She demonstrates this ugliness happens in ALL walks of life too...we who have not had to experience such cruelty and depravity are truly the fortunate ones...
During my studies at college, Freud although revered at that time, did not seem like a friend to women....
Thank you for taking the time to connect, and share your thoughts with the ether, not an easy thing to do!
You are admired...
Ah, I have to agree with the other comments. This left me feeling sad. I like to think that everyone can recover from a difficult past if they get help, but truly not everyone does.
Her handwriting is very interesting to me. For the most part it looks a lot messier than I would have expected from an era where handwriting was central to education. I guess it helps illuminate some of her state of mind or feelings as she writes... thank you for sharing.
This is fascinating, I didn’t know about her fragments book, but I’d seen a few snaps of the pages before. I’m going to get myself a copy. Thanks, Jillian.
I was very struck by Monroe's handwriting. The first few examples look an awful lot like Octavia Butler's! Then the page that she wrote for Dr. Marianne Kris I can hardly believe is hers. In fact, surely the doctor must have written it? It's completely different handwriting... call me crazy.
Fascinating! I started reading a biography on MM a year or so ago was never finished it. But yes: A very tragic and intriguing life. Escaped into reading. Very misunderstood. I love her free association notes. I love journaling like that with no overt agenda. Really helpful. Good ole Freud.
Liz Garbus’s film, Love Marilyn, is much better.
Oh my goodness, what a gentle, tender, beautiful soul. From a young age, I was drawn to Marilyn Monroe--I suppose for her beauty and spunk and intelligence. As an adult I find myself full of admiration for her deep commitment to herself and others, as well as deep sorrow. We did not do right by her. At all. And she tried so hard to do right by us! Oh, my heart.
I wasn't aware that her journals were public. Was this with her blessings?
Another beautiful post!